I’m a dog tired after my day job. Emergency Department was batshit crazy today. I have no brain left to create something new so let me just show how where my Ina got her sass from.
Here is the post from the time I was living in Poland.
Post from my polish blog 24/10/2009
So I had some experience this night, but let’s start from the beginning.
Usually, I’m not thinking much of locking the door for the night. Sometimes, I do it others I can’t be arsed. I live in a really nice and peaceful place with really vigilant neighbours, so … Anyway, this time, I dragged my ass out of bed to check if the doors were locked. Why? I had no idea, call it the protective hand of my deceased grandma, so I locked the door and went to bed.
Around 4, I heard some banging and crashing. Someone was trying to get in forcefully, almost ripping the door from its frame. Actually, it was two someones who woke me up. It was 4am, so on my excuse, I can say my brain was not working as it normally should, so I haven’t called the police or called any neighbour or brother-in-law. Instead, I just pushed my cats to the bathroom so they would be safe, and I grabbed an old starting gun (the one used to start runners in the stadium).
Armed in my fury, pyjamas decor in little kitties and a starter gun, I opened the door, pointed the unloaded toy-like thing at them and shouted:
“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY DOOR, OR I SHOT YOU FIRST AND CALL THE POLICE LATER.”
All I got was them tripping over their feet while running away and screaming,
“Christ! We just missed the doors, we just missed the doors”.
I put my toy weapon back in its place, released the cats from the bedroom and went to bed again, and when my heart stopped racing, I realised how utterly stupid was what I had done.
So remember: never open the door to strangers, don’t point a toy gun at someone who may have a real one, and call the police first. In my defence, I can only repeat that I was barely awake, and those two cells in my brain rubbed in the wrong way.
Still, it was a quite of experience both for me and, as I suspect, for those two men as well.