I woke up today and my elbow is killing me so let me tell you the poetic story how I almost become one arm bandit.
A long, long time ago … ( 3 months 😉 )
It was a nice and peaceful morning. Just before 7 am when Diesel was due to have his epilepsy meds, and the family barely opened their eyes, strange sounds echoed through the house.
Lady of the house, the most aware person in the company, jumped out of bed to save again
the furry love and bane of her life who was currently twitching on the floor. However, half asleep, she didn’t foresee it was a trap.
The Cat Overlords decided to take over the world, and as the first stage, one of them produced very slimy vomit on the bottom step, as you may also guess a very transparent one.
Here we have herself as the cavalry running down the stairs to save the day. Before her sleepy brain registered, she stood in something slippery as her foot landed on tiles.
In a failed rescue attempt, she tried to grab a railing, but it was all in vain. She landed gracefully like a proverbial sack of potatoes and felt ominous POP in her elbow.
Pain flared up, the type of pain that makes you think you will add to the pile of cat vomit your own content. Still, as an ED battle-hardened warrior, she just swallowed the bile and opened her mouth to call for help. However…
What comes next was not exactly a call for help but rather a very explicit description of what happened and what dark corner this day can go. Hearing the thump and unladylike description of events master of the house started running to help.
You have to remember that he is not a morning bird. Without coffee, he didn’t even resemble a human being. Still, atavistic protection instinct kicked in, and he was flying down in a save damsel in distress mood.
“ Don’t you dare to fucking run”, – she shouted, imagining a pile of bodies lying at the bottom of the stairs if he repeats her moves.
Strangely enough, he listened, helping to pick herself up from the floor and to sit on the couch. Now it was time for injury assessment.
Hip – painful but not broken,
Shoulder – yeah, will do
Elbow – nope, an attempt of any manipulation resulted in almost peeing herself, but as she was still able to hold it as well as tears, pain score was assessed on about 4/10 ( in modified ED score where 10 means bollocks in a meat grinder )
Nothing 4 different types of painkillers taken in industrial amount cannot fix. As they say, “mind over matter, or you are a wuss.’
Still, she needed an x-ray; therefore, she attended ED for the first time in her long life. The rest, you know, a bit of broken elbow, nothing that stops one from going back to work. However, the family keeps claiming that there is some deep insanity going on in here.
And what do you think?