Only a month left…and a fridge magnets.

The jobs were done, and we decided to entertain ourselves a little at the local ComiCon in Truro. I was initially a bit hesitant as with only a month left to book release, I feel like I’m living in “under-time” with so many things to do and so little time to do it, but Mark was right and having a little break helped me gathered my thoughts.

For some reason, I gathered all Autumn Chaos promo fridge magnets before we went out. Don’t ask me why. My brain sometimes works in mysterious ways, but as we were browsing the stalls and local artists, I connected with local fantasy craftsmen and, well, we use fridge magnets as our business cards. 😁

Bizarre as it sounds, it seemed to work pretty well, albeit people were surprised getting such business card, and I couldn’t stop laughing when thinking about my opportunistic traits. I’m sure I could sell the ice cream in the Antarctic if I want it hard enough. Of course when I was working my butt off around the promo Mark, in the meantime, was drooling over the swords and armour. At the end I promised him that I would buy him something sharp and shiny once he finished editing the second book (nothing like a positive reinforcement as Mark is the main editor of our books).

Because that’s where we are now. Tomorrow I will get the final edit of Autumn Chaos from our editor and send it for formatting and, of course, to our awesome ARC readers. I admit I’m equally happy and terrified for this release. There is still so much to do in such a short period, mainly formatting, adverts and promos.

Oh, did I mention we are thinking of organising a £25 Amazon gift card contest or giveaway at the end of August? Is it a good idea?

We are relaxing today and making monkey videos from the ComiCon, and we are both also too tired to cook, so … sushi takeaway it is.  

Because internet is for porn…books 🤣(review)

Somehow when you write your own book, you don’t have much time for reading but following (yeah, I know!) Facebook advert, I started to read the book called A War God’s Favourite.

It was on one of the android apps, the one that operates on a pay-per-view reading scheme, but the first few chapters were free, and I decided to give it a go. If you read it and love this book, skip the next part because I’m about to dissect the plot and point out what genuinely amazes and amuses me as a writer.

The first two chapters were genius. I mean, I love smut books (blood, gore, sex and fantasy type), and it hit all the right chords with me. In my naivety, I got excited and paid for the following 30 chapters a hefty price of £6. OK, I didn’t actually pay because I had accumulated enough Google Play points to have off for free, but it would still be that much if I paid.

Big mistake…

As much as I think the first two chapters were a perfect example of how to hook the reader on the book, what followed was like an instant, unsweetened coffee after drinking the finest cappuccino.

(spoiler alert) After being almost eaten by the giant dragon main protagonist instantly falls in love with a prince (the Stockholm syndrome at its finest) who, in fact, raped her because she didn’t consent to sex, which she enjoyed profusely despite repeatedly saying no. Not to mention being a virgin, she instantly enjoyed the quite brutal sexual activities and falling in love with a man who barely exchanged two words with her for the first 4 chapters but managed to kill 4 people. Oh, not to mention, she immediately gets pregnant.

The plot holes kept piling up as being taken as a slave from her home village at the age of 7. She already knew the finest medicine tricks of her tribe and advanced healing, and in a very patriarchal society, she instantly got acknowledged as the best doctor in the empire. What else? The emperor acts like an idiot and suddenly, in a completely politically bonkers move, dissolves the entire slavery system the empire economy is based upon. And everybody loves our ‘Mary Sue’ just like in Twilight. You got the gist, but…

To not be only negative. The sex scenes were good, they gave me some ideas, and Mark said he would pay for a subscription just for that reason 🤣. Call me old fashion, but as much as I love good adult settings, having a sex scene in EVERY chapter (literary, on the stairs, in the greenery on the top of the dragon while flying) with no contribution to the plot became a bit boring, and before I even got to tenth chapter, and I started scrolling past it. Especially that author didn’t add new or kinky stuff to the play, only changed location, but it was, in essence, the same slightly adapted missionary position.

So the lesson for me as a writer is to learn how to write opening chapters so well, and the lesson for me as a reader is that not all good premises are worth paying a hefty price for the book that is, in essence, like porn with lots of bed action and very little sense in between.

We are famous, we are pretty, we are giving gifts 😂

Today we will give you some news from the writing front.

First, we are preparing our ARC giveaway. I’m so happy to say we have several people signed up for Advance Reader’s Copies. What you see in the picture are our little gifts of gratitude for those who decided to take their time and read the book.

We only need to sign it, address it and send it worldwide. And I mean, we really sending it all over the world, which is funny as hell because some addresses are almost surreal. I’m also scared and excited waiting for their review.

Around two weeks of the release date, we will be organising the giveaway promo contest with an Amazon gift card to win, so keep an eye on the tab here or sign up for our newsletter to not miss the occasion.

Second, our TikTok activity brought a fantastic book talker to us. Here you go, the author’s interview where we make a monkey of each other talking about Autumn Chaos. If you want to have a good giggle, watch the video.

Or Read it on The Table Reads

Yay! It’s Raining

The heat wave came and gone, and our crazy cat household was taught two major lessons.

First: no matter how much you love the other person, there is no cuddling during the heat wave. I don’t know what your significant other was like, but Mark was sizzling hot, and with his nordic blue-blonde physique touched by the sun, it was like cuddling pissed-off bright red lobster.

Second: I do not know how people in tropical countries withstand the heat and moisture at the same time, but I was unreasonably angry, and every minor thing set me off into the raging silence.

You may think raging silence is not bad, but when I do it, it’s terrifying. Mark says I radiated menace. I believe only cats like it and flop on the sun deck, absorbing UV light to their souls’ content.

So imagine a pissed-off lobster with a silently raging woman under the same roof. Safe to say, we welcomed thunderstorms as a blessing from the sky. Now it’s raining, and we can cuddle again.

Sunday snippet

Marcach of Liath

Autumn Chaos

Mar didn’t dare to move till he heard her breathing even out, and he was sure she drifted into a deep sleep. He rested his chin on her head, allowing himself to close his eyes and revisit the battle scene. Ina’s magic stunned him, not only by its strength but also by its remarkable beauty. He chuckled softly and was startled that it might have woken her up, but thankfully Ina was still sleeping.

Fire vipers, what else one could expect from such a spitfire of a woman? He gently stroked her back, careful to not touch the injured shoulder. Not once had he held his late wife like this, or any other woman, for that matter. And he knew he would do whatever it took not to make it the last time. He thought about Ren and his friend’s infatuation and rolled his eyes, muttering to himself.

“It looks like love at first wound with this one.”

Define your target audience

When you write a book, initially, you would only want to write a book you would love to read, but the more you dive into the craft and market, you realise you should at least try to cater to your target audience.

And here comes the problem: what is your target audience, how to define it and how do you know you are right? Frankly speaking, I don’t know, but I know how I imagine my ideal reader.

There is no gender preference. Our book can appeal to both men and women, and everybody defines themselves on their own terms. It will be likely a mature person, and when I think mature, I guess 25+ as our books have ZERO teenage, young adult angst. There is no daddy issue, no orphaned children, no “I’m trying to find out who I am” trope. Our protagonists are mature people who know when life throws shit under your feet, you just shrug and walk around it..

Our reader must love humour – nitty-gritty and inappropriate. The type of humour when you bring the barrel of whiskey to the funeral because you know your dead friend would find it absolutely hilarious.

We don’t shy away from occasional cussing because when a hammer drops on your foot, you will very unlikely say “oh dear me” and blush like a pansy.

And there is sex, not fade to black or holding hands in the moonlight. Just NO. It is our own preference. We like books to have mature themes, not straight away and always in relation to the plot, but when it is time for things to become spicy, it burns with passion, kinkiness … and humour. 😋

So our ideal reader is a mature down-to-earth person who loves to laugh, doesn’t take life too serious, knows that shit happens, and consenting adult people get handsy, and even fantasy witches have their problems with tangled hair.

Are you our target reader? Like or comment, so we know such a special unicorn of a book lover exists.

Autumn Chaos – Video trailer

I’m getting excited and nervous at the same time as August is coming, we will release ARC books to read for those who sign up, and of course, there will be blood tours and various promo materials. One of those is a video trailer I’ve made for the book and one I’ve bought from a professional trailer maker. I need your opinion to decide which one to use.

And a little promo: comment and sign up to our newsletter ( and 5 best comments get a free book A Little Accident sent on 22/08/22 to the given email address in PDF/EPUB format.

Trailer 1

Trailer 2

… and that’s why we write the way we write.

Today will be a short one, but it gives you a taste of why our writing style is as it is so…

After having a reasonably productive day yesterday, I made a nice dinner and waited for my awesome man to come home. When I heard the door open I set up a coffee machine and shouted.

‘Welcome home my magnificent dragon.’

Mark strolled to the kitchen, looked at me and sighed.

‘Nah, more like a limp gecko today.’

I think that summaries our relationship to the notch. And when I finished laughing and served my limp gecko of a man his coffee, he got kicked upstairs to his editing cave. Limp or not there is no salvation for the wicked geckos.

Mark’s mussing about books

Lowena dhywgh. It’s Mark, and today it’s my turn to say hi. If you’re wondering what the first sentence is, it’s just me greeting everyone in Cornish.

My topic today is trigger warnings. Touchy subject and one that can often be very emotive, but I found myself reading a story that came with a trigger warning, and I was surprised at the effect it had on my experience reading that story. Now, the plot itself was about a woman who had been blamed for a fire that killed her abusive parents, was sent to jail, and was subsequently abused there. At the start of the story, we join the protagonist on her release from prison.

It’s a great story, intelligently written, and guides the reader with an emotional maturity that impressed me profoundly.

Then we came to a chapter where the author added a trigger warning, and instantly my attitude changed. My heart began racing, and I felt a level of stress that surprised me. A triggered response. However, the author still wrote with empathy and guided me, the reader, through the traumatic scene with the same emotional maturity they had used throughout the previous chapters, and I wondered what use the trigger warning was intended for? The subject matter? The entire story was about abuse, death, consequences and attempts at redemption, so what help could a warning do that the synopsis didn’t mention?

I am conflicted, I admit. I believe PTSD is debilitating to live with and often ruins multiple lives, but on the other side of the coin, aren’t we capable of choosing to not read a book or story that touches on the subjects that trigger us? I don’t know if that’s my insensitivity or a belief in the readership’s ability, but I welcome everyone’s views. Maybe you can help me see it from a different perspective.

The art. Of suturing.

 We all face the embarrassing moment every now and again. Not so long ago was my turn, and I didn’t even do anything stupid. Just tried to help one of my co-workers.

The consultant’s job has little to do with moving patients on the bed or making the bed. Still, I have never worn a golden crown, so I’m not afraid to lose it doing the job “below my pay grade.”  Anyway, to cut to the chase, the clumsy me helped with the obese patient and the combination of lack of experience, too much goodwill and “the good deeds never got unpunished,” somehow my trousers caught on the edge of the bed rail.

… and it ripped.

Right on the seem to expose much of my thigh.

So here you have me. Still, half a day running the department, flashing my thigh like Angelina Jolie during the Hollywood gala. But let us not forget I’m the emergency doctor. And how does the ED sort out the problems?

Acknowledge… Adapt… Overcome

Although the surgical vinyl sutures are not the best to fix the fabric, after 15 minutes of solitary time in the bathroom, and I’ve emerged as a brand new fashionista with the big hole fixed and trousers looking like a brand new pair. No one noticed a thing.

Now, the question is. Should I explain to my leg-crossing colleague what I was doing there when he was waiting for me to vacate the premises, or should I let them believe I had a severe case of constipation?

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