I don’t know why I did it, but I did it. On top of so many overwhelming things I was doing, the devil got into my head and steered me to start learning Japanese on Duolingo. When it comes to almost any European language, I would be fine, but here comes the caveat. My brain doesn’t seem to recognise the shapes of letters if the alphabet is different from standard Latin-based European.

I kid you not, but when I was in high school, and we had obligatory Russian lessons, I learned the text passages by heart a few pages ahead, so when the teacher called me up to read them, I recited them with my gaze fixed on the book. It was easier doing it that way rather than trying to read Cyrillic letters. Sure, I could do it slowly, with my finger on the paper, but I’m the type of person who would do anything to spare herself embarrassment.

Now I’m stuck on hiragana. I can listen and repeat Japanese phrases like a dream, but that has always been my strength when it comes to learning a new language. However, when it comes to reading… Safe to say Mark is slowly dying when he sits near me, hearing all my f..cks and ‘what the hell is this zigzag’ or ‘this resembles a tit, and this resembles a drunk tree’ comparisons when I’m trying to memorise the symbols.

Worse, Duolingo has this “League” system, and I’m a competitive soul, so I’m doing these bloody lessons, cursing and sweating to get the best place in my league because – my character doesn’t allow me to let go.

I still don’t know why I’m doing this. Maybe it is a menopause fog or just defiance, wanting to show the world that I can still master something, even if it’s slow going and I’m cursing all the way, occasionally dreaming of throwing the phone at the wall.

Do you have any challenges to share?