Don’t challenge me, Mister.

I had an interesting interaction with a patient today. It started with a surname, a very interesting but complicated name, and I suspect Kenyan in origin. When I called him from the waiting room, I unintentionally mispronounced it because, for me, it was a total tongue twister.

I apologised preemptively because I knew I’d most likely mess it up. Most of our patients don’t mind. We even joke with each other about overcomplicated surnames because my Eastern European one, with its special vowels, is unpronounceable for most English people. Unfortunately, this patient didn’t see the funny side.

In fact, the gentleman in question threw a proper strop. He took the time to spell it out for me in a very patronising manner while I was leading him to the cubicle for examination. I smiled, keeping a professional face because no matter what he said or did, he was my patient. Still, if he was going to keep riding his high horse, I was going to roll in it.

I introduced myself politely, stating my high rank in medical pecking order, name and surname. Yes, the very same, special vowel, unpronounceable surname, and I asked him equally politely to address me by my surname.

You should have seen his deer-in-headlights look when he realised there was no fucking chance he would be able to pronounce it correctly right after he belittled and patronised me.

Yup, don’t challenge me, Mister, because I can answer any bullying in a polite and professional manner.

And never throw stones at someone’s ability to pronounce your exotic surname if you aren’t sure you can pronounce theirs.