Never, ever write when you are drunk. Learn from the older and wiser me that made this mistake a few days ago.
I just wanted to add an extra smexy scene to the chapter of Royal Inspector(new standalone). I like to write smexy scenes. I have enough life experience to make it kinky and enjoyable, so without a second thought, I made myself a big glass of Pimms and started to write.
If you don’t know what Pimms is, it is the bloody UK goodness, a type of alcoholic drink you serve with fresh fruits and cucumber, and I can inhale it like juice. This makes it my perfect summer drink. So as I’m sitting in the garden in the sun drinking Pimms and weaving a tale of desire. I suddenly realised I was a bit tipsy, and the number of extremities didn’t match.
And so I’m going backwards, counting every appendage and hole and how they match each other. Add to its hands and legs and where they are through the scene, and it occurred to me I gave my male character an extra penis and third arm, and the female character is very bendy. Yeah, like Fantastic Four bendy. Even imagining such bendiness hurt my spine.
It wasn’t a bad scene, maybe sightly wild judging the situation, but who can resist a little smexy time in the library?
Still, with extra limbs, appendages and impossible flexibility, I would say it was very appropriate for the monster smut. Sweet but kinky and passionate, I still have to re-write it or add some weird magic to explain the extras that appeared in my tipsy stage.
Or maybe I just copy and keep it safe when I decide to write monster smut?
Anyway, now I have a new rule when I write, and the rule says: Always count your cocks. ;p
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